Friday, July 22, 2011

A Good Mistake

Today, I reflect on questions. Many of us were told that the wrong question is the one that you do not ask. So today, I wonder…

Why are we so afraid of making a mistake?

What is the worst mistake you ever made?

Is there an instance when a bad mistake is actually good?

Well, if what Franklin D. Roosevelt said is true – that the only thing to fear is fear itself – why are we so fearful of making a mistake? I submit that some of us view mistakes as a sign of weakness. Intellectually, we might understand that mistakes are lessons to learn; however, we want to avoid those mistakes at all costs.

Some psychologists believe that it starts during childhood, when our parents attempt to protect us from life’s obstacles. Some parents push success and praise their children for what they do right. This is important, but at the same time parents can help their children by encouraging effort.

Surely, there is a line between protecting and conveying the message that mistakes make us weak. Mistakes can become teachable moments for invaluable life lessons.

The worst mistake that I can make is the one where the lesson is lost. Failures are sometimes hard to accept because failure is viewed as a personal weakness. However, failure is not a eulogy over my life.

Failures should be viewed as an opportune time to learn how to make improvements either to myself, or to the process. Following the safe path to avert making a mistake is dull and predictable.

I have not always made the right choices. To some people, I probably have not made any good choices. But, that is based on their opinion and not on them living my life. Some people know how to decide what you should do – but, they can never do it for you.

I cannot allow others to dictate the choices I should make and be untrue to myself. I am the one who lives with that choice. People will sit back, watch and look for another area in my life to dictate. If I grant them that space.

There is a lesson to learn, regardless to how foolish my behavior or how damaging the results. I can draw from the experience something that moves me forward. Moving backwards or staying stuck in a rut are not options.

The good mistake, I believe, is the one in which I embrace the lesson and choose to grow. In order to do this, I must take ownership for my mistake, not look for reasons to blame others.

Accepting responsibility – and realizing the world did not end – allows me to examine the situation and put things into perspective. Otherwise, I will keep making the same mistake, wondering why nothing changes.

“A person can't brood over one mistake, or waste time feeling sorry for himself, or take on any sort of persecution complex. Today I realize that once you have made a mistake, you must accept it, profit by it, and then totally dismiss it from your mind.” Bart Starr, former quarterback Green Bay Packers

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