Something Odd, Something True, Something Shocking, Something To Do!

Read, reflect and enjoy my take on some of the top news stories of 2011.

Something Odd…

Herman Cain’s insane presidential campaign! Seriously, I am glad Cain did not remain in a campaign that was quickly going down the drain. What did his ego expect to gain?

So many bloopers I could name! His integrity waned by a libido untamed. His 9-9-9 plan was not feasible to maintain. Not to mention the current foreign affairs his memory could not contain.

Fortunately, Cain realized he was putting himself and his family to shame. But not before quoting a Pokemon movie and declaring the media was to blame!

Something True…

More Americans are living in poverty, according to a recent study by the Census Bureau. (You can click here to read the report.) This trend did not start during the Great Recession. Rather, this began years ago. The implosion of the economy magnified the plight of many people in this country.

With all the buzzwords of inequality, the wealth gap, the 1% and the 99%, what are we really prepared to do – as a nation – to effect positive change in people’s lives?

Will we commit to the growth of others, or continue to pursue greed, political partisanship and a hypocritical value system while our fellow citizens suffer? Will we sit idle while America continues to become the land of the free to lose everything, and the home of those brave enough to live on the street?

My 2012 prayer is that I fully walk into my purpose of serving others – working towards a healthier, wiser, and freer community in which the willingness to serve is cyclical.

Something Shocking…

One of the most shocking news stories of 2011 for me was the Penn State child molestation scandal. Not about the acts of child molestation, per say. Unfortunately, this happens every day for too many children in dark places where the media light does not shine.

Rather, this news story angered me for two reasons. First, I am appalled that other adults were aware of these dastardly acts and chose to do nothing about it.

Second, during the first few weeks of news reporting, the spotlight was on the wonderful works of Paterno with Penn State’s football team. Some in the media seemingly eulogized Paterno’s career, as if that negated his moral responsibility as a human being to help someone’s child.

Something To Do…

Get out the vote! Take action in 2012 to secure our voting rights. Americans should be ashamed of our laziness about voting – that is why Republican legislatures across this country are brazenly writing and passing laws to suppress voting rights – in the name of voter fraud.

These laws could affect nearly 5 million Americans who are eligible to vote.

Citizens in terrorist riddled countries risk their lives to vote. Meanwhile, Americans lay back, complain and have not experienced a voter turnout for national elections above 65% in the last 50 years.

We need to recognize the sense of urgency regarding the actions of some groups who believe less government is more. Yet, many have devised the ultimate plan to deny American citizens the right to vote. I wrote about this in a blog post last March.

Since that time, voters in Ohio managed to suspend its law; the U.S. Justice Department blocked South Carolina’s voter ID law; and Maine voters defeated a proposed law that would have ended election day voter registration.

One can only hope this momentum continues. But in the mean time, we should get involved to ensure American citizens in our area meet the qualifications to vote.

Happy New Year!

“We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day.” Edith Lovejoy Pierce, poet

What the Kerfuffle?!

“For nearly four years you have had an Administration which instead of twirling its thumbs has rolled up its sleeves. We will keep our sleeves rolled up…We had to struggle with the old enemies of peace—business and financial monopoly, speculation, reckless banking, class antagonism, sectionalism, war profiteering. Never before in all our history have these forces been so united against one candidate as they stand today. They are unanimous in their hate for me—and I welcome their hatred.”

This could be remarks by President Barack Obama. Instead, this is part of President Franklin D. Roosevelt’s reelection speech of 1936.

Any fly on the wall is entertained with my TV rage while listening to pundits and politicians. Many of them attempt to rationalize the uncompromising opposition of certain members in Congress.

I believe there is only one explanation. And, one need not look further than the words spoken and actions displayed.

The Republicans think helping the president helps the president. They do not care that hurting the president hurts the American people.

Tomorrow evening, President Obama will present his jobs plan before a joint session of Congress. My prayer is that President Obama will not present a politically correct jobs proposal.

Rather, he should present a bold, sustainable jobs plan that provides a vision of where this country needs to be five years, 10 years, 20 years from now. Size matters.

Give us a plan proportional to the crisis at hand. For the unemployed American people who are struggling to take care of their families.

Let the other side recklessly oppose what is right for the sake of destroying the president. Apparently, clinging to power is worth the risk of the collateral damage to Republican, Democrat and Independent Americans.

With that being said, I appreciate the president’s efforts. He does not want the perfect to be the enemy of the good. He has been willing to negotiate and compromise. However, that stance is most effective when the other side has pure motives.

In this case, the other side does not. They are hell-bent on regaining power in the White House. By any means necessary. At some point, the president must realize that he is trying to work with people who are not playing fair.

Maya Angelou famously said that when a person tells you who they are – believe them. The Republicans have not minced words since 2009 about their #1 priority.

The Obama Administration is stuck between a rock and a hardened right wing Congress whose sole agenda is to “make President Obama a one-term president.” This reveals that their motives for stalling and unwillingness to compromise have one target.

I am disgusted that Republicans have framed a message that the president has the responsibility of 535 men and women. Not so. President Obama can present a plan; Congress must write and pass the legislation.

Interestingly, most decisions President Obama makes autonomously without Congressional approval is successful: assassinating Osama bin Laden, limiting our involvement in Libya are two examples.

Legislation passed during the 60s and 70s demonstrated that the nation was divided; however, Congress was not easily influenced by that division. They wrote legislation based on what was right, what was good for society.

In this environment, the president could propose the Republican plan for job creation, and they would reject it.

Today, Congress is largely influenced by the division in society, even if it means doing what is wrong for the country. That is the difference and until that fractious difference is repaired, our nation will continue its divisive downward spiral.

 

Ex Marks the Spot

While Jewel’s Spot is not intended to be gender-specific, today’s post may resonate more clearly with the ladies – if only because it is written from a female perspective. That being said, I am sure that a few male readers may also relate.

A few months ago, I enjoyed playful banter with my daughter and her father via text messages. He was coming to Georgia for the weekend. We both claimed that the other would have regrets and fall in love all over again! Yeah, right!

Guilty! Yes, I felt a sense of contentment that my ex still found me attractive. More importantly, it felt good because I felt nothing for him emotionally!

That we communicated via text message is interesting! We met in the 80s – when Ronald Reagan was president, a gallon of gas was $1.20 and society still believed that going viral was not a good thing.

So, the two of you meet, fall in love, marry or commit to a monogamous relationship. You fall out of love, break-up and move on with your life. Years later, you find out that in the recesses of his mind, he believes you never stopped loving him.

Is that machismo at its best? A testosterone overdose? Maybe. But keep in mind that men are twice as likely to drown as women because of over-confidence.

Whether male or female, not many things can give our egos a boost like seeing an old flame years after the fire is gone. Yes, women have egos too. Knowing he is salivating (Okay, I am exaggerating.) and regrets letting you go is, well, delightful!

What is it about human nature that an ex can raise a desire – or ire for that matter – to have our egos satiated? Is it feelings left over from the past? Or, is it simply an inflation of pride in who we are? Whatever the case, it sure is fun!

We get wrapped up in nostalgia and our emotions – what I like to call the younger sibling – can become entangled. However, before we fall off the emotional cliff, our older sibling – the intellect – steps in and reminds us that there is a reason our ex is our ex.

We do not have to deny moments of nostalgia. It is acceptable to reminisce about the wonderful memories – but do not forget there is a reason the relationship ended. Let’s face it: Not everyone comes into your life to stay; some people come into your life to leave.

Just enjoy the moment for what it is: an opportunity to take an ego trip to the land of contentment because he is miserable and kicking himself everyday for letting you go. There I go exaggerating again!

“Egotism is the glue with which you get stuck to yourself.” Anonymous

A Life of No Regrets

My daughter lied to me recently and it happened around my birthday, of all times. Several days prior and even after my birthday, she continuously asked what I wanted to do.

I really had no expectation to do more than appreciate another year of life. I shared this with my daughter and yet, she still decided to tell a lie.

Eventually, we made plans to have a movie night on the Saturday following my birthday. Well, the lie was that she never intended to share a movie night with her mother. Instead, she gave me a surprise birthday party!

Hearing my friends yell, “SURPRISE!” unexpectedly and reminding my heart that it was one year older spawned the Reflections series this month. The occasion was another opportunity for me to appreciate my blessed life. I love my daughter for creating wonderful memories of celebrationfor me.

Birthdays are a wonderful time for celebrating life; a reminder of how far I have come and how far I still have to go. Another year of life reminds me of a promise I made to myself nearly 10 years ago: I would not live a life of regrets.

I can grow old kicking and screaming. Or, I can embrace each year of life the Lord grants to serve and fulfill my purpose. I believe serving others is an opportunity to give back the grace that I take advantage of daily.

I do not fear death. I fear dying before fulfilling my destiny and God-ordained purpose. The good thing is that I have a choice. Will I act and seize opportunities, or will I respond to the fear and doubt that is against my success?

Will I avoid obstacles, or will I use those obstacles as stepping stones toward my destiny?

Will I walk the predictable, methodical path, or will I occasionally surprise myself by doing something different?

Sometimes, inaction also leads to regrets. Inaction leads to the “what ifs” in life. I can choose to do nothing and wonder about what never occurred. Whether big or small, I will continue to embrace opportunities, risks and moments that are designed by God.

I have faith that God will not allow me to die before my purpose is fulfilled. A life lesson is to never become complacent in a place where God does not want me to be. I have the courage to persist – even when circumstances seem to reflect the opposite of God’s promises.

I could play a game of chess in my head. Strategizing the safe moves and risk becoming paralyzed, never making a decision. Or, I can make a decision, accept full responsibility for the consequences and move on.

I choose the latter. For me, the biggest regret is never making a decision, never taking chances. Never living a life expecting great things. Never engaging in meaningful service. Never using my God-given abilities.

Sure, there are some things in my past that I regret. However, those are things I cannot change. It happened; it is over. I let it go. I live to see another day.

Maybe next year, my daughter will surprise me with a trip to Paris!

“The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.” ~Louis E. Boone

A Good Mistake

Today, I reflect on questions. Many of us were told that the wrong question is the one that you do not ask. So today, I wonder…

Why are we so afraid of making a mistake?

What is the worst mistake you ever made?

Is there an instance when a bad mistake is actually good?

Well, if what Franklin D. Roosevelt said is true – that the only thing to fear is fear itself – why are we so fearful of making a mistake? I submit that some of us view mistakes as a sign of weakness. Intellectually, we might understand that mistakes are lessons to learn; however, we want to avoid those mistakes at all costs.

Some psychologists believe that it starts during childhood, when our parents attempt to protect us from life’s obstacles. Some parents push success and praise their children for what they do right. This is important, but at the same time parents can help their children by encouraging effort.

Surely, there is a line between protecting and conveying the message that mistakes make us weak. Mistakes can become teachable moments for invaluable life lessons.

The worst mistake that I can make is the one where the lesson is lost. Failures are sometimes hard to accept because failure is viewed as a personal weakness. However, failure is not a eulogy over my life.

Failures should be viewed as an opportune time to learn how to make improvements either to myself, or to the process. Following the safe path to avert making a mistake is dull and predictable.

I have not always made the right choices. To some people, I probably have not made any good choices. But, that is based on their opinion and not on them living my life. Some people know how to decide what you should do – but, they can never do it for you.

I cannot allow others to dictate the choices I should make and be untrue to myself. I am the one who lives with that choice. People will sit back, watch and look for another area in my life to dictate. If I grant them that space.

There is a lesson to learn, regardless to how foolish my behavior or how damaging the results. I can draw from the experience something that moves me forward. Moving backwards or staying stuck in a rut are not options.

The good mistake, I believe, is the one in which I embrace the lesson and choose to grow. In order to do this, I must take ownership for my mistake, not look for reasons to blame others.

Accepting responsibility – and realizing the world did not end – allows me to examine the situation and put things into perspective. Otherwise, I will keep making the same mistake, wondering why nothing changes.

“A person can't brood over one mistake, or waste time feeling sorry for himself, or take on any sort of persecution complex. Today I realize that once you have made a mistake, you must accept it, profit by it, and then totally dismiss it from your mind.” Bart Starr, former quarterback Green Bay Packers

Can We Talk?

I am not trying to beat the dead horse on Donald Trump’s head, particularly since the media has moved on. After Trump’s demand to see President Obama’s birth certificate, top headlines switched to the Lakers being swept away from the playoffs; where in the world is Sarah Palin’s bus?; and, Anthony Weiner’s wiener.

However, I do have a few thoughts about the brouhaha Trump fueled. Like other times, we displayed attention deficit with the next headline and missed another opportunity to discuss race relations in America.

Some people who believe the birther tale say the issue is not where the president was born – it is about his policies. Okay. Raise issues about his policies, not about his birthplace with undertones of how he is “different.”

The diversity of America is part of the greatness and exceptionalism in America. We are a nation of immigrants, descendants of people who came here willingly and unwillingly. Yet, we risk the fullness of what this means – for this country as a leader to other nations – by refusing to deal openly and honestly with the cancer that threatens this nation.

When faced with a news story that threatened to implode his presidential campaign, then Senator Obama gave a speech on race. He attempted to reconcile the divide and at the same time steer our minds towards what should connect us as a nation. In part, this is what he said:

“We cannot solve the challenges of our time unless we solve them together, unless we perfect our union by understanding that we may have different stories, but we hold common hopes; that we may not look the same and we may not have come from the same place, but we all want to move in the same direction — toward a better future for our children and our grandchildren.”

I often say that on September 11, 2001, we were not White, Black, Asian, Latino or Other. We were Americans. The terrorists did not wait until Black or White Americans left the towers; they did not even secure Muslims who also died on that day. Rather, they were unified with one mind and one goal – to kill Americans.

I do not pretend to have the answer. I am one of over 300 million people in this country. However, I do believe that we can have one voice that is rich in diversity and acceptance.

Recently, my daughter, grand diva and I went to Zoo Atlanta. My grand diva connected with another girl who was also at the zoo with her family. Immediately, the two held hands and talked about different things, including what they had in common. Ironically, they share the same name and age.

At one point, the little girl asked my grand diva to take off her sunglasses. When she removed her sunglasses, the little girl said, “You have brown eyes just like me! You are my BFF!” This was two little girls enthralled with what they had in common, not the difference in their skin color.

If we reach for what is human, perhaps we can disregard our prejudices, our differences. If we disregard our prejudices, our differences, perhaps we can find what connects us as human beings and makes us whole.

“Race relations can be an appropriate issue . . . but only if you want to craft solutions, and not catalogue complaints. If we use the issue appropriately, we can transform it from the cancer of our society into the cure.” David Dinkins, former Mayor of New York

Honoring Sacred Places

I had a dream recently that resonated with me long after I woke up. The scenes were out of kilter, but the interactions with others stood out for me with a common theme: the importance of our relationships. I awoke with a sense of urgency to pen this blog. Whether marital, familial or friendships, we need to use present moments to honor the connection we have with the ones we love.

In his book, “The Real Lives of Strong Black Women: Transcending Myths, Reclaiming Joy,”  Toby Thompkins writes that all relationships are sacred places. I agree that we should be grateful for the people who give to us love unconditionally.

We should display our love and affection – things that money cannot buy. How can we do this?

Practice respect, honesty, openness, compassion and acts of love. We can listen with a loving ear. Listening is a sacrifice to give up something and devote your attention to the other person.

We can develop compassion over blame. Blame desecrates that sacred space. Compassion expands that place with treasured memories.

I want to make sure that the important people know how I esteem them in my life – through actions, not simply words. I was born in the “Show Me” state and for me actions speak louder than words. I listened to what people said, but watched closely the actions that followed.

Now, I admit that sometimes my perception was flawed. I analyzed a person’s actions through my personal filter. If actions did not align with my expectation, I concluded that the person did not mean what they said.

God showed me how unfair I was through my relationship with my daughter. During her teenage years, He taught me three love lessons: (1) Accept the people you love for who they are; (2) A person may have their own way of expressing love; and, (3) No matter the problem, always find your way back to love.

We can still honor those sacred places, even when the other person seemingly does not reciprocate. How? By bestowing forgiveness upon them and expecting the best.

If you are unable to restore a broken relationship, distance is perhaps the best thing between you. Just make sure that distance is not paved with bitterness, anger and a vice grip on the pain you believe the other person caused. We sacrifice joy and inner peace with the weight of something that occurred a long time ago – or yesterday.

Bottom line, we all need healthy, human connections. No man is an island. For years, I tried to be one and thought that I was pretty good at it. But, I found out that even an island needs the water surrounding it to be an island.

“It's better to lose your pride to the one you love, than to lose the one you love because of pride. We spend too much time looking for the right person to love or finding fault with those we already love, when instead we should be perfecting the love we give.” Anonymous

While We Were Sleeping

At this point, rehashing the ill-fated Democratic mid-term elections is not a very productive conversation. Unless the discussion is a history lesson on what happens when legions of voters choose to stay home on election day. I hope that the American voter awakes in time to right some of the wrong choices made at the ballot last November.

My goal is not to sway anyone to vote Democratic, Republican or Independent. I simply want to emphasize the need to vote and show what is at stake when we do not. How many voters regret “teaching the Democrats a lesson” by booting them out and voting in Republican lawmakers with a lethal agenda? Read: Wisconsin, Ohio and other states actively stripping public workers’ rights.

My Mother always told my siblings and me that voting was not only our right, but also an obligation. She would say, “Not voting is a ‘yes’ vote for the person you do not want to win.” She also admonished us, “People lost their lives giving you the right to vote. Do not take this for granted.”

Well during my senior year in high school, I registered to vote on the day I turned 18. Over the years, I voted in a few local elections, and in every presidential election, save one.

Honestly, I did not take our political system too seriously until 2007 when I saw the prospect of having either a woman or an African-American become the democratic nominee, and the President of the United States.

Exercising one’s right to vote during a national election is a good thing; we should actively participate in selecting a strong candidate to lead this country. However, not turning out in great numbers for local elections is a travesty, to say the least. Local politicians have more power to directly affect our lives on a daily basis.

Some American voters choose to sit at home rather than exercising their right to vote. While this happens, lawmakers are implementing laws that could ensure the disenfranchised segments of our society remain so.

Ohio recently passed a bill requiring one of five forms of identification to vote in elections in an effort to curb voter fraud. Opponents of the bill indicate nearly 900,000 Ohioans will not be able to vote because of this requirement. This number includes voters who are low-income, minority and seniors.

Now, every law-abiding citizen in the United States should be concerned with voter fraud. However, no concrete evidence was presented in Ohio to support claims of voter fraud. The bill was accepted and passed based on the Republican sponsor’s claim that “I believe it happens.”

And, it does not stop there. Similar bills are taking shape in 22 states, which could eliminate 12 percent of voters nationwide. Highlights of some of the proposed bills:

·         New Hampshire: The House Speaker of the state legislature introduced a bill to restrict the voting rights of college students and military members because they “are kids voting liberal, voting their feelings with no life experience.”

·         Missouri, Texas and Colorado passed bills requiring photo identification at the polls.

·         Tennessee requires voters to have a driver’s license at the polls, despite more than 500,000 adults currently without a driver’s license.

Last year during an interview on PBS Newshour, President Bill Clinton said there were three things that prevent people from voting: anger, apathy and amnesia. I agree with that assessment, but also believe those are three reasons to vote.

Shame on us when people in war-torn countries risk their lives to vote and we the people who claim the cradle of democracy – elect to stay home.

Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.  ~ George Jean Nathan

Do You Hear Me Now?

In the Old Testament Bible, I Kings 19:11-12 tells of the prophet Elijah, who was distraught in the midst of his ministry. Elijah is expecting the Lord to address his concerns – his way. When the Lord directed Elijah to stand upon a mountain, Elijah thought that God would surely have a word for him. The events that followed possibly gave Elijah moments of doubt that God had made Elijah’s concerns His own.

Instead of a great, wondrous work, the mountains crumbled. Next, a strong wind passed without a word from God. A destructive earthquake followed the strong winds. Finally, consuming fire appeared. After all of these displays of great calamity, the Lord chose to address Elijah in a still, small voice.

Perhaps the other events were attention getters. Elijah was used to God doing great things in tremendous ways as he dealt with false prophets and the children of Israel. What is most significant to note is that after each calamity, Elijah still tuned his ear to hear the Voice of God. Otherwise, he would have missed the call when the Lord spoke to him.

During this time, Elijah was in a questionable place that did not reflect his faith in God. He was fleeing in fear of the enemy’s threat against his life. There – in that questionable place – Elijah wanted and needed to hear from God.

Is the Lord trying to reach you? Are you looking for a profound move from God? During moments of uncertainty and doubt, is your service unavailable to the Lord?

Even with the convenience of mobile phones, many of us have inconveniently missed an important call. Maybe we were traveling through a remote area. Or perhaps our cell phone service dropped the call. Oh, the frustrations when you think you are connected!

Life can bring so many distractions and threaten to interrupt our communication with the Lord. Distractions may cause us to forget that our finite minds have a tendency to box God into our expectations. We forget that God is infinite and has a perfect plan beyond what we think.

Do you hear the Voice of God today? Perhaps your comfort zone appears to be crumbling around you as the mountains crumbled before Elijah. On the other hand, maybe strong winds have rocked and reeled you off center.

Are there destructive habits that may leave your life in ruins? These habits could be behavioral or internal thoughts that are holding you down. Where is the fire engulfing you today? It is possible that the Lord is nudging you to take one more step of faith.

Declare this day that you will not have a missed call of faith or spiritual power outage. You want to hear the Lord when He speaks. Your concerns are God’s concerns.

"Often the most difficult part of faith is when no more action can be taken and nothing remains but to wait patiently for God to work out His will. It is at this moment that doubts arise and anxiety creeps in." - Unknown

Here Comes the Judge

I am disturbed by the actions of some people towards recent reports of redemption and second chances. It would appear that brokenness and shame is not enough to grant someone the opportunity to lead a positive life.

We know the story of pro football player Michael Vick and the dogged attacks (pun intended) against President Obama for commending the Philadelphia Eagles coach on giving Vick a second chance. Mainstream media never carried a story about the real purpose of the call: converting the stadium with alternative energy sources, something that can help to move this country forward.

Or, the homeless man “with the golden voice” – Ted Williams – who now has a second chance to pursue his career and restore family relationships. Isn’t it wonderful that God preserved Williams’ gift over the years, despite the life he led?

And, let us not forget the brouhaha over Chris Brown’s “Man in the Mirror” performance last year that caused some to nearly hyperventilate and declare Brown was shedding crocodile tears. Some people seem to think that each public appearance by Brown warrants regurgitating what he did and viewing his current behavior through the prism of his past.

Now, this is not an analysis about dog fighting, drug addiction or domestic violence. Those acts are separate from a person’s desire to learn from a mistake and move on. Rather, this is about those who deem themselves worthy to stand in judgment of another person’s actions. Human nature seems to enjoy compartmentalizing ill behavior, deciding which one deserves a pass for redemption or a one-way ticket to condemnation.

Where is the demarcation between claims of holding a person accountable and the judgment seat? When do we decide that a debt has been paid and give the person permission to move on? How can we justify condemning a person over and over and over because of a mistake? Is it really a cloak for our own shortcomings and secret faults that have not been exposed to the same glaring light of public opinion?

A person says “I’m sorry.” We say, “Oh really?!” A person says “I made a mistake.” We say, “Remember when…” A person says, “I am going to do better this time.” We say, “Well, better is not good enough.”

God help us come to a point when we know compassion versus coldness; forgiveness versus retribution; love versus loathing. We all want compassion, forgiveness and love each time we fall short. Unfortunately, a sanctimonious attitude prevents some from even acknowledging the unforgiveness in their heart.

Honestly, we can learn lessons of humility and grace from each of these men. We need to look at the man or woman in the mirror, learn to be grateful and utilize our God-given talent in realizing our Greatness. That would give us plenty of time to focus on the business of our lives, rather than others.

“We have made up a God in our image. Because we are angry and judgmental, we have projected those characteristics onto Him. But God remains who He is and always will be: He is the energy, the thought of unconditional love. He cannot think with anger or judgment. He is mercy and compassion and total acceptance.” Marianne Williamson