Like millions of people around the world, I watched the homegoing celebration of Whitney Houston on television. I stand in agreement with those who say the world went to church on Saturday, February 18, 2012. It was an opportunity for many to experience what happens inside a Black church every Sunday, somewhere.
Millions of people heard the uplifting songs, testimonies of
inspiration and the preached Word of God. These are common expressions of
worship for Christians to receive strength and continue our walk with the Lord.
Save the casket, we could forget that the service was a
funeral and a time to mourn the loss of someone near and dear to many hearts. I
think about this loss, and my heart goes out to Bobbi Kristina, who is now a
member of The Club: an unwanted membership into a circle of people who have
lost their mother. This is a painful place that is difficult for nonmembers to
comprehend.
When I think of the pain that comes with death, I think of
the beginning. In the Book of Genesis, God tells Adam and Eve that they will
die after eating from the forbidden tree. Adam and Eve did not drop dead the
moment they disobeyed God. However, their disobedience ushered into the human
experience something that is neither easily forgotten, nor easily tamed: The
eternal, human loss of a loved one.
Now, this post is not a theology lesson. I know the hope of
every believer that there is spiritual life after death. Rather, I muse why God
wanted humanity to avoid the natural experience that comes with death. What,
like any good, natural parent, was God trying to keep Adam and Eve from
experiencing?
What does God know that we do not? I believe that God, in
His infinite wisdom, saw beyond our human limitations what death takes away from
us. Could it be that the Lord, knowing the void and agony of death, wanted to
spare His children this pain – in addition to the spiritual death from sin?
Death is finite for humanity. Someone dies and we grieve, knowing
we will never see that person again. We will never hear their laughter, feel
their touch, or share a beautiful sunny day. We are left with memories and some
comfort in believing our loved one is in a better place. Even when we prefer
that better place was with us.
Through His infinite wisdom, God also gave us a place to go
when our hearts break after a loved one’s death. He is that good parent who
prefers that His child avoid certain experiences. Nevertheless, as a good
parent, the Lord is still there when the child must go through.
No one can tell you when to get over the loss of a loved
one. Frankly, you are never “over it.” Rather, the pain subsides. A beautiful woman told
me after my mother passed away in 1988, “Never let anyone tell you to be
strong. She was your mother and it’s okay to cry.” There is nothing wrong with
crying. God keeps our tears in a bottle and He feels our pain.
God is there to
comfort our hearts and give us His strength to make it through the dark,
agonizing moments when our hearts grieve. He is there the
day our loved one dies, and He is there nearly 25 years later when we still
ache for their presence.
“Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.” Matthew 5:4
